This week I want to dedicate this chapter to the people who have been supporting me since the start of my blog – ok, it has only been two weeks, but still. You have posted the most beautiful comments, thank you very much. I also received e-mails from some of you sharing your very own birth stories and encouraging words… Thank you!
You asked me, when that I find the time to write this blog? Well… until now I’ve been wondering every time, if I’ll be able to post another story next week. Not because I have nothing more to tell, but rather because I don’t know when to bring my thoughts to “paper”. Being a Mum can be quite stressful … but you know that. 🙂
Right now I’m writing on my mobile phone, not on my laptop, whilst Amélie is asleep in my arms. I don’t dare to put her in her bed yet, just in case she wakes up. Besides, like this I can write my blog… although, I have to admit, it’s not the most comfortable position, but better than not being able to write at all.
It’s Thursday afternoon, 5pm and speaking of being asleep… my left leg fell asleep a long time ago. I don’t even feel my big toe anymore. But hey… “c’est la vie” or we used to say “Yolo”, which is so 2000 and late, right? You don’t say Yolo anymore, do you? Whatever… back to the topic.
We were just ten days in Zurich, without Dada and the reunion in London last weekend was beautiful. I couldn’t hold back the tears, when I saw Greg standing there, waiting on his two girls in arrival! Hach, I am still so hormonal. On Sunday we just enjoyed the day in our pyjamas at home, together… just the three of us… doing nothing but chilling at home. I almost forgot how good that feels. Relaxation.
Then we started fresh into a new week full of “Mum & Baby” fun!
Discovering new things together
On Monday Amélie and I went to the “Scream Screening” in Notting Hill for the first time. That is a movie for Mums & Babies. Amazing, I tell you … how you get used to screaming babies. The noises are rather super sweet. From now on we’ll be there every Monday!
Here I had to go to the toilet and my girlfriend took care of the babies.
Wednesday was Halloween, and “Mum & Baby Yoga” day. We will try to go there weekly now too. A yoga lesson where the babies can lie on a mat next to you. Nobody cares if a baby starts to cry, or a Mum has to breastfeed while the others do the “Downward Facing Dog”. Everyone is in the same boat. The yoga teacher once even took Amélie in her arms, walked around with her and explained the next exercises, as showing them would have been rather difficult holding a baby. And at the same time it was Halloween, and so the kids came in “Fancy Dress”. They all looked so adorable!
Both days Amélie and I spent with friends that we met during antenatal class. It was great to go on these new adventures with them and chatting about our new lives, since we are all going through the same things… more or less. We can exchange experiences, information, share joy and sorrow. It is reassuring to hear that they feel the same way as you do. Every mum just tries her best. One might have a little more experience, the other maybe less, but the support is enormous. Nobody judges you. Everyone wants to help and support you. They’re absolutely lovely!
En route to “Mum & Baby Yoga”
Learning how to open up
I have to admit, a few weeks ago I wouldn’t have been able to share my inner self so fully with anyone but my husband… What was going on inside of me was overwhelming. It was all so chaotic after my surgery… with a newborn, as a new mum. Partly I didn’t even know where my head was. Haven’t I read enough books? Am I doing something wrong? Should I be feeling this way? Should I really trust my instinct? I had so many questions, yet kept them all to myself instead of sharing them with, for example, other mums.
I think that the experience of me being in Zurich “alone” , without Greg, helped me somehow. I took care of Amélie alone, flew alone, which is super difficult by the way! I took care of some business-related appointments and met friends. All that WITH Amélie (except events that took place in the evenings. My mum looked after Amèlie then. Merci mami). But I was able to manage everything.
Not so long ago, I wouldn’t have dared to do all of this, and the best thing about it is: all these experiences whilst being abroad alone with Amélie, made our bond even stronger. I grew as a mum. We are a real power duo, my daughter and I.
Long story short… It’s OK, if you need help; and it’s OK to ask for help or accept it when it’s offered to you. Why did I only just get that now? Well, I started to listen and talk to people … started to open up to others. I listend to my mum, grandma, and other girlfriends that were mums, saying that they all went or were still going through similar things. That it was normal to have doubts sometimes and that you shouldn’t put yourself under too much pressure. After giving birth you are allowed to feel the way you feel. It’s OK – just talk about it.
Therefore, simply try it out. You are not alone, never. Being a new mum is difficult. Everyone has doubts sometimes, that’s ok and normal. I bet, if you would talk about it, you’ll quickly find out that YOUR Mum was exactly the same when she had you. Have confidence and believe above all IN YOURSELF. You are great and can do unbelievable things. Trust your “mama instincts”. Don’t keep silent about fears after birth. You help others and yourself by talking about it. We can get through anything now. We are superwomen. We can still walk upright after bringing a child into this world. I mean…
WE ARE SIMPLY AMAZING!